I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I know her cup size but not her name....
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
