too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
