apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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