his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
