So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
