Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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