Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
