i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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