I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
