He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
