OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I am available for nakedness
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
