HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sorry my hands just texted you
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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