I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
