Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
