idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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