I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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