Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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