So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I touched a dick in church today
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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