is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
