Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize