she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
