You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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