we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The air was thick with penises
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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