Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
