I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
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