we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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