I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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