Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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