lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I have post one night stand depression
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
