i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Randomize
