i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
