Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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