All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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