do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
