BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
