Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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