i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
