3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
