waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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