If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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