My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
