Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
