I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
