This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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