better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
