someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
