I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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