theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
