Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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