I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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