Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
