is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
