I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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